the butterfly effect.

nessa hates the haze.
and she wants to sleep.

hello everyone,
meet dray.
my friend.
who has been there for so many years.
he is the perfect everything.
he held me when i sleep.
he wiped my tears away.
he accompanies me to school.
and to church.
and to everywhere else.
there was never a moment he where he would leave me alone.
he loves me and i love him.
alot alot.
he has been there for so many years.
so please.
everyone meet dray.
my pillow.

so nessa was being lame.
forgive her.
she's been waitng for so long.
a few days actually.
a few day more yeah.
ahhh!
no.
as long as you want.
thats what i said.

i'm glad that claire is trying to be there for him.
i want to do the same.
but.
give him space and give him time.
nessa is more than ready.
but is he?
chin up sean and be strong!
you're not going to die, you're not going to fall.
i know.
cause you're stronger than i am.
and cause you rock shitloads.
=))

i don't know what to say to you.
you try and you try.
just give me somemore time.
i see the hints.
i know what you're trying to do.
i know you've always been there.
i mean.
so far anyway.
give me time and maybe i'll come to you.
and give this one shot.
i don't know maybe.
see how?

it wasn't the need or the passion.
nor the want for anything we weren't supposed to.
it was the moment.
where we held each other close.
that i could feel your warmth.
you could complete it by saying those few words.
and i can die a happy girl.
it didnt mean nothing for me.
even though i don't know what it meant for you.
but i thought that i would just let it out.
lift off the heavy burden.
just so you know.
it was as special as it always was.

nessa has been feeling better nowadays.
emo-ness is kinda gone.
and her chin is up!
yes.
things are getting good.
thanks to everyone who have helped in one way or another.
sheryl,
christie,
W14M,
petina,
callisa,
varien,
claire for that little uplifting mesage although we aren't talking.
thank you all.
you guys rock.
love you all.

you'll always have my heart.
you'll always have my love.
you'll always have me.
and i'll always be yours.